I guess if I had to guess, I think I’ve traveled down a dark lonely corridor since April of 2005.

There are times when our own arrogance and pride get in the way of our blessings. We tend to believe that we are in control, that we are who we are or that we are where we are by our own merits. In a sense we are, but in the grand scheme of things, we are not.

We have choices and we also have a deeply instilled compass on good and bad or right and wrong that has been pre-wired in us from birth. I’m rambling but this post is my grandmother. She was ill during this time and it was a tough and dark time for me. The person whom I received so much love from was leaving me and all I could do was stand there and watch.

I’m reminded of times when my grandmother and my mother would argue on whose daughter I truly was. They were silly rabbits, my grandmother was very serious though. She’s from Louisianan and their blood runs hot quick, real quick, whew. During my grandmother’s illness, I stayed with her at the hospital with her for roughly three weeks. I knew the nurses by name I was there so much and the staff took great care of her at California Hospital.

It was the first time I had lost someone and actually felt the pain of the loss. I still feel it to this day. Maybe that is true love, the love I have for her is pure. Maybe that is why I can post about her for this prompt, “If I Could Turn Back Time”, because I feel the loss of her daily, serially.

In between that time of her going through heart failure, me having a full household to also care for, her guidance and strength kept me from driving my car off of the 110 Fwy in Los Angeles. Also, that I just washed my car too. I did mention it was a dark time. But I realized and knew that without the love my grandmother taught me about loving myself others and God that things would be OK. We all have struggles but it is getting through them that we gain strength and character. I’m not sure if any of this is making sense. 

So, in short, if I could turn back time, I probably wouldn’t.

God has a plan that I have no idea about, therefore, let the time flow, and where He leads, I will go. 😉

I wasn’t going to share this story since I thought it was a little too heavy. But, then I figured since I wrote it, it must be meant for me to get it out and let it go. So here it is in its raw form. Feedback and comments welcomed.

Happy Writing 😉

If I Could Turn Back Time

If you could return to the past to relive a part of your life, either to experience the wonderful bits again, or to do something over, which part of you life would you return to? Why?

Remember to Live Free and Love On Purpose 💋🎉✌

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